Tuesday, 6 February 2018

Stand Tall

Get The Look:
Hoodie - Zara // Trousers - New Look (similar) // Coat - Pull & Bear // Necklace - Asos // Shoes - Pull & Bear 

 It's been a little while, I know and I'm sorry but also not sorry because I needed some time away. I took a step back from blogging and posting on social media and put my socials on private so that I could do some introspection, somewhat address my anxiety and generally get back in tune with myself. I'm not all the way in tune yet but I'm trying. Social media is a great place to share information and get inspired but it's also a great place to feel overwhelmed (especially when you constantly overthink and second-guess - like I do). We tend to stop focusing on ourselves and start comparing. Whether it's physical attributes, talents or achievements. We compare so much that we forget to take into account our own awesome selves. This was one reason I chose to take a step back - although only one reason. Within the blogging community we come across a lot of perfect images and seemingly perfect lifestyles which are not a true representation of life. Everyone goes through their ups and downs and mentally I was going through a bad state. I'm sharing this because I feel it's important to talk about and share the bad as well as the good. What helped though, was talking to close friends, refraining from putting so much pressure on myself and focusing on other things I also enjoy - like music. I'm back though, and I have a lot of content planned to make up for my absence! 

I never really liked the idea of wearing faux fur coats and would often avoid them due to the fact I thought they were too ostentatious. Despite how cozy they looked, I thought they stood out too much. This has been a recurring theme in my life, particularly when I consider my achievements. If you're anything like me, you tend not to talk about or present your achievements or the great opportunities that come your way because, similar to me wearing a fur coat, you don't want to come across as pretentious. Recently, I got a great opportunity and I shared this with no one. This wasn't for a lack of being excited but out of habit.  

Over the years, I seemed to have developed a habit of not being proud of myself. This can get awkward in situations where bragging about yourself is a basic requirement - aka in interviews/ cover letters/ application forms. Imagine an interviewer asking you the mandatory "so, tell me about yourself" or "what is your biggest achievement" and you, stuttering and fumbling over your words in response. This stuttering idiot used to be me.

 The more I thought about why I acted this way, the more I thought it may not only have something to do with my personality but also something to do with me being a woman. When men openly talk about their achievements, showing off their leadership qualities and the great things they've done - there are no negative connotations that follow. However, as a woman, we can be branded as "bossy", "b**chy", "prude", "loud". I personally like being busy- whether it's creative work related or not. Workaholic mentality, though, is a trait that is often shunned when it comes to women. What time will she have to find a husband? What time will she find to have children? What time will she have to take care of her family? As far as I'm concerned, women are forces and they can do it all. The archaic mindset that success for a woman is measured by the amount of children she can bear or the familial relationships she can maintain is not one that sits well with me as it certainly does not apply to men. If you're a girl/woman reading this, please be proud of your achievements. Don't shrink yourself or hide your greatness in favour of outdated mindsets. We create our own realities.

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller."Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I've come to realise that you are, in short, doing a disservice to yourself by not being proud of your achievements. How is someone else supposed to see your greatness if you don't first recognise it within yourself? Not only do you deter great opportunities from coming your way but you also stop yourself from recognising and honing in on your talents. 

Blog Post Title: Stand Tall - Childish Gambino

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